I get it; some days you just don’t have it in you to put aside all the fears and put on a happy face. It’s okay to be down once in a while. Set a time limit and wallow in it for a bit; throw yourself a pity party. And when the time is up, let it go. Call someone who can remind you that you are going to make it through this.  Get the help you need. I believe in you, you should too.