Some people need to process things internally; they need to sit and think about things, and figure them out before talking about them. Others process what is happening to them by talking about it, maybe saying the same thing over and over until they can get a handle on it.  Others may have an entirely different way of dealing with their issues. Understand that different people process different ways. There is not a right way to process. If you want to help, ask what is needed. Don’t be surprised if one thing is needed today, and something else is needed tomorrow.